If you can't answer each other's phones, you don't love each other. (@jaysmoke)

DJ JaySmoke (RJE)posted a blog, Mon, 10 Jan, 2022

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I've come across people who be like 'I don't answer my partner's phone' or 'I don't know my partner's password or pin'. I really have a hard time understanding that mindset.

Like am not even saying you should demand for it, but when you are with someone, esp your wife/husband, you can't boost of transparency when you can't do these basic things.

How can I even eat your food, sleep with you, share future plans with you yet I don't have access to your phone? It doesn't make sense! Transparency is key in a successful relationship and giving your partner access to your phone, ATM cards, etc is saying, I trust you, I love you, I have nothing to hide, I want to share everything I have with you, I want to be with you forever. If you can't do that, then you shouldn't get married to them until you can do that.

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Comment

Irene Ngwenya

My view is that this topic would not even be a topic if this privacy notion was not misconstrued in society to begin with. If two must become one then "one" cannot steer in two different directions, if one believes that there should be complete transparency with everything between the two, and the other feels differently about it, well the foundation of that marriage already has cracks in it. I believe that transparency only means that , if nformation is required it should be readily available, not to mean that one is taking time out to actively go through their partners files looking for something, rather to know that there is no need to search for anything because everything that concerns both is known by both people. This can only be a reality if the two have complete trust towards one another.

Spot on! â¤ï¸â¤ï¸â¤ï¸ How can the two walk, unless they be in agreement! I think the original concept of marriage included being transparent and vulnerable with each other. Bearing it all, laying all your cards on the table, unashamed, not judged but loved and complimented. I believe that's how God created Adam and Eve until they sinned and they became ashamed of there nakedness. But thank God, Jesus fixed that and now we can once again be completely 'naked' before our spouse and not feel ashamed. - DJ JaySmoke (RJE)

Sure thing! - Maylex84

Maylex84

I can agree in general to this. But I will add, that its between the Couples agreement with each other, just because I would want to have my Spouse password, doesnt mean, that if a Couple doesnt do that, that they dont love each other. Its about how they were brought up and how they want to handle their relationship.

In general I would say, the other one has a "right" to look into your Stuff or know your password, but if they are both fine with not doing that, thats fine, thats their buisness.

And for emergency cases, its always good to know each others passwords eyc.

But I think, privacy is important too.

Doesnt mean its a secret.
But maybe you ask a friend for help or advice, or the friend asks you. Sometimes it doesnt help your Spouse to know it all. But to be open about it and to let your friends know, that u might sharr it with ur Spouse, or to ask them if thats okay for them.... yeah, sure thing.

Thanks for the comment Manny. We seem to have allowed wrong to persist for so long and because we've found a way to make it work, we think it's ok. But I don't believe that's how God intended marriage to be when He said the two shall become one. If you can't trust your spouse with your work, then what reasons did you marry them for? I mean if they love you, shouldn't they protect you by not revealing those information to the public?

If you can't trust them enough to do that, then something is clearly wrong somewhere. Like I said, it's not compulsory and it's fine to not care about their information or want to access their content, but what if you did care?! - DJ JaySmoke (RJE)

Yes of course, if you care, he should give you information! - Maylex84